Cheesy Poofs
by Anna Jaganshi
Summary: YYH and SP crossover. Hiei discovers cheesy poofs, but Cartman won’t give them up without a fight. Crackfic, don’t read if you wish to keep your sanity. XD Rated for cursing.


_Don't ask where this came from… because I couldn't give you a good answer; couldn't give you an answer at all, actually._

_Hiei: What the Hells ARE cheesy poofs?_

_AJ: You'll find out._

_Kurama and Yusuke: And we get to watch it all!_

_AJ: Ahem, Cartman, if you please…_

_Cartman: Only 'cause I get cheesy poofs! AJ don't freaking own YYH OR South Park. If she did, life would be Hell. Now gimme mah cheesy poofs! pulls out gun from no where_

_AJ: Godspeed. In good time, be patient. ' Enjoy, folks! And… Hiei will be OC… somewhat-ish… I dunno. gets shot_

Cheesy Poofs

Poke.

"What the Hells _are _these things?" Hiei muttered, poking the fluffy orange balls again. They smelt familiar, kind of like those Cheetos Yusuke had at his apartment, only a different shape entirely. _Does that mean they're edible?_

Poke, poke.

_Only one way to find out…_

Picking one of the puff balls out of the bowl, the fire-demon popped it into his mouth. At first, he didn't taste anything at all, but after a few seconds, the cheesy substance melted onto his tongue. "… They're the same thing," he muttered, tossing another into his mouth.

**Two Minutes Later…**

After finishing the bowl, and becoming addicted to the tiny puffs, Hiei went in search for more. Now the house was completely deprived of the delicious little treasures… and Cartman finally comes home, immediately in search of his Cheesy Poofs.

"WHERE DA HELL ARE MAH CHEESY POOFS, DAMMIT?!" is his greeting after stomping through the house. Hiei, after flitting behind the couch, poked his head up and feigned an innocent look.

"What are cheesy poofs?"

"DAMN YOU, YOU ATE MAH POOFS! AH KILL YOU, BASTARD!!!" Pulling out a machine gun from under the coffee table, Cartman begins shooting the couch to bits, but Hiei had already moved. Katana in hand, he advanced on Cartman like a crazy pervert would on the goddesses of beauty.

"I KNOW YOU KNOW! WHERE CAN I FIND MORE OF THE PUFF BALLS?!" Cartman shot at his sword, somehow knocking it from Hiei's hand. Hiei pulled out his own machine gun from under the remains of the couch, chasing Cartman around the living room. Bullets went back and forth between them, both getting shot in numerous places, but still running around like lunatics.

"WHAT'D YOU DO WITH MAH CHEESY POOFS, JACK ASS?!"

"WHERE THE HELLS ARE YOU HIDING THE REST OF THEM AT?! I KNOW YOU HAVE MORE, MIDGET MAN!"

"WHO YOU CALLIN' MIDGET, MIDGET?!"

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"

All of a sudden, Kenny walks in the door and gets shot. Because he has to die in every episode.

"Oh my God, you killed Kenny!"

"You bastards!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!!!" **BANG! **And there they go. Then Hiei and Cartman spotted something near the still totaled couch. A small, fluffy ball of orange, innocently sitting there, mocking them for not seeing it sooner. "MINE!"

They both leapt for it, but somehow, the poof grew legs, arms and tiny eyes and a mouth. It shrieked, running away from them. Infuriated, they gave chase, shoving each other away and shooting at each other every chance they got.

**Half An Hour Later…**

Both were panting by now, still giving a half-hearted chase after it. But the cheesy poof had enough.

"_STOP FKING CHASING ME YOU _**FREAKS**" The two boys stopped, blinking dumbly at it. In its tiny hands appeared a fork and a knife; butter knife, mind you. "HOW ABOUT I EAT _YOU_ INSTEAD?!"

"OMFG, RUN AWAY!" But they were to slow for the puff ball. In a matter of seconds, it grew at least thirty times its size and engulfed them in one bite. Then it shrunk back to what it once was, burping slightly.

"S'cuse me."

"… Pfft, I can't believe it! Hiei got eaten by a… a… HA!" Yusuke burst out laughing, clutching his sides. Kurama, who was sitting beside him on the sofa, was covering his mouth with one hand and holding the remote in another. Eyes closed tightly, not being able to hold it in anymore, Kurama ended up on the floor with Yusuke.

After getting over their fit, they both sat up, panting and wiping tears of mirth from their eyes. Then Kurama thought of something. "Hey… Yusuke."

"Nani?"

"How do you think Hiei got _in_ there, anyway?"

"I… dunno."

Silence. Then, "You want to watch it again?"

"We can't. That was only on once."

Kurama hit the eject button on the remote, making a tape pop out of the VCR. Standing, he went over and took it out, waving it slightly for emphasis. "You think I'm an idiot? I just _had_ to record _that_." Yusuke laughed again.

"You're evil incarnate."

"Of course. And I'm damn proud of it. What do you say we go round everyone up to watch it?"

"Hell yeah, let's go!"

Meanwhile, in the cheesy poofs stomach…

"IT'S A CANIBLE CHEESY POOF! LOOKIT 'EM ALL IN 'ERE!"

"**MINE!!!**"

_And that's the end, folks. Hope you enjoyed!_

_Hiei: What the fuck, I got eaten! And by FOOD no less!_

_AJ: blinks innocently It's for the humor… I couldn't help myself._

_Cartman: CHEESY POOFS!!! glomps a large bowl of them_

_AJ: Besides, I had fun, you got to eat, Cartman's happy, and Yusuke and Kurama got blackmail on you. Everyone wins. (:_

_Hiei: What? What blackmail???_

_Kuwabara: laughs in the distance_

_Hiei: I'm going to kill you…_

_AJ: Please Review, peeps! It may keep Hiei from skewering me!!!_


End file.
